“Shalu, you are too tall for a man”
“You are very pretty. Way better than the skinny girl next door who even wears makeup when she goes running”
“I want you to love your in laws more than your parents, promise me you will do that”
“Say the Gayatri mantra (Vedic verse) before leaving the house.”
These are the only few words of the woman in my life. I was 2 year old when she made me realized that I’m the most loved kid on this planet and yeah obviously the pampered one. Unfortunately we don’t realize what our grandparents are to us until we see them in their last stages. For me it was different , I always knew that I was fortunate enough to be with my grandmother. My grandmother at a very young age had 4 sons and due to her negligence lost her only daughter to a disease because she was too occupied to take care of her sons. May be that’s why she is blessed with 5 granddaughters and 2 grandsons(karma deliver alert). With me being the eldest grand daughter is still pampered to the fullest.Just 2 days back when I told her that I’m going to Pune for TFI she started looking for a maid to send along with me to Pune saying “You can’t even drink water by yourself, you need her. you take care of the kids she will take care of you”. Yes she loves me so much! But more than that she has been my first teacher since birth. Everyday she does or tells something so magical that I just cannot forget for the rest of my life. Listing down all can take a lifetime but here are the few things that I will be proud to share :
1.Nothing comes before food and health :
We woman have and always taken our health for granted but she even at the age of 76 will be particular about eating less for dinner, walking twice a day at her own speed, having small meals at regular intervals, fasting on Sundays with fruits to keep her digestive system effective. That’s the reason that she still is fit than majority of the woman at her age.
2. True beauty is natural.
Whoever discovered “Dadi ma nuske (tricks)” was a genius. She taught me to extract the best from the nature. Whether it was applying potato on your face or using raw milk every morning before your bath her every tip made me feel more beautiful and confident. Her hate for make up made me use less make up and healthier skin as compared to my friends who drown in make up. I still remember using sun screens and anti tanning scrubs to get rid of tanning which never had effect on my skin but her combination of gram flour, turmeric, milk and honey gave back my natural skin in just two washes. In the world of beauty products she made me cultivate the trust on natural products 🙂
3.Experience is knowledge but education is power
She still remembers the time when she wanted to study further but was forced to drop out of 6th grade due to family circumstances. But she never stopped learning. She made experience her book and life her teacher. And till date she forces my cousin to teach her English. One thing I know if she was given the opportunity to study she would have been the powerful woman to be scared of. Her ambition for me is to study as much I want. And to earn more than anyone in the family. She lives to see that. Her words “Education is the power for woman to create her life of her own” makes me work hard to achieve what I want and to create what she wants me to see.
4. Never settle specially when choosing the man of your life.
The only man she was with in her entire life was my grandfather yet she was the happiest woman I know. She was definitely not happy when my mom married my dad for obvious reasons. But she always believed in choosing your life partner even during that time. I remember her saying “Show me your guy friends and I’ll tell you if hes worth being your boyfriend or not”. She not only had a certain image about the person you should be with but also made me realize that there is no harm in expecting the best for yourself. Her words “Find a man who is as tall as you and who loves you as I do” encapsulates her vision of the man you should have in your life. Someone who is compatible with you and can give the love you are used to receiving or even more than that. Till then don’t settle with what you get. Make it worth it.
5.Chanakya niti (Politics of life)
She was a gem of a person but she was also a cunning woman who believed that one has to be smart to lead the life they want. Her ideologies included the fact that you should never talk about something until its done something which I believe and follow religiously. She always had her ways of getting things done exactly the way she wants. Whether its at home or in the neighborhood. I still remember the time when she made the new neighbor get sweets for her when she wasnt allowed to eat anything at home. She can do that at this age also 😀
6.Grow old but never give up on life
The desire to live is something that keeps a person going. She was a firm believer in having a desire to live. She always encouraged me to take up something so that I had a purpose in life. She wanted to live and grow old gracefully and always wanted us to do the same. I remember her yelling at me “Why are you becoming fat and ugly? Go run, play, dance and work on yourself for god sake!!” (Yeah being blunt is something I have learnt from her). She always used to get so excited when I took up something new life like Bharatnatyam classes at the age of 7 or playing sports to reduce weight. Even at this age she wants to live by being a part of the house hold chores whether its cutting or cooking at times. She always says my time will come when I want to and during that time I want to go while doing something new and different if not that than just by doing something.
7.Love unconditionally
We are no responsibilities of our grandparents and they didn’t choose to have us but yet they love us even more than our parents. My grandmother is blessed with 4 loving sons who love her the most but yet she will fight for me even if its against her own sons. She might not have all my answers but her love gives me the strength to find the answers. And this is what she always wanted me to do. Love unconditionally even if its your in laws :D. I still remember her words “Even if you decide to adopt a child, get a dog or marry a useless guy love them unconditionally, but before that love yourself unconditionally”. Its strange that this difficult task of loving unconditionally without any expectations one can do only when you are old.
When we come into this world for the first time even our parents struggle to understand the concept of parenting during that time our grandparents teach them the first lesson of parenting and then they teach us the first lessons of our life. Young people need something stable to hang on to – a culture connection, a sense of their own past, a hope for their own future. In short they need the love and guidance of their grandparents.
Love them always 🙂
TheSinghStory 